Sometimes people say the most insensitive things to pregnant people. Sometimes, they are just joking, sometimes they are serious, and sometimes they are trying to elicit a certain response from you. I tend to laugh and muse at most of the things people ask me or say to me while pregnant.Trust me I have a sense of humor too, so I know when its funny and when its not or when an answer deserves a certain response.
Here is a list of things people have said to me since I’ve been pregnant:
1. Be happy you only have morning sickness. It was much worse for me. (excuse me I had hyperemesis for at least 15 weeks, try puking 6 to 12 times a day for 15 weeks all while trying to deal with ptyalism that finally went away at around 26 weeks, all while trying to take care of two toddlers and a baby.)
2. So are you sure you aren’t further along. (In this day and age when technology can tell you within 24 hours of your embryo’s age, yes I’m sure)
3. “Oh … you’re only six months along? Well I guess pregnancy looks different on everybody.”
4. “You’re a small person so labor will probably be really rough with you.”
5. “Your too small to have a baby, you’ll probably end up with a c-section.”
6. “You probably won’t be able to breastfeed because you don’t have boobs like mine” (fools, I breastfed my son for a year, and that comment came from someone who had big boobs and had trouble breastfeeding)
7. “What if you have another boy?” (well then I’ll have to put a return address label on their butt and send them back to God, 😉 )
8. “Does this smell bad to you?” (wait are you kidding me, you want me to smell something that might make me vomit?)
9. “You really shouldn’t eat chocolate, it can be bad for the baby’s heart.” (That’s why there is a surgeon general warning on chocolate, ok 😉 )
10. A friend of a friend of mine had a still birth because of “such and such” you should really watch it. (oh thanks for trying to scare the “bageezus” out of a pregnant women who already worries about every little thing)
11. Let’s hope this baby looks like his daddy, boy’s shouldn’t look like their mothers. (Where did you get that from? Boys can look like their moms and still have masculine traits! )
12. Um, don’t choose that name for your baby it sounds too much like _______. (don’t ask what I’m going to name my baby if you are going to give me your negative opinion about it.)
13. You think you’re not sleeping now? HA! Just WAIT until the baby gets here. (I’ve already had a child, I know what sleep deprivation is, thank you)
14. Have you tried ginger ale and saltines? (NO OF COURSE NOT, IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME TO TRY SOMETHING ALMOST EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER HAS AT LEAST TRIED ONCE TO HELP WITH MORNING SICKNESS)
15. Why are you complaining about not feeling good. Didn’t you WANT to be pregnant? (Remember you said that when you are 8 and half months pregnant, it feels like you are sitting on a bowling ball, you haven’t had the ability to bend at the waist in two months, you just threw up your egg sandwich in the sink, your toddler just body slammed his head into your stomach, you haven’t pooped in days, but you need to, and you can only sleep in 10 minute intervals because your sciatica is so bad, remember that!)
16. Wow, you’re so big your definitely going to get stretch marks. (Thanks for pointing that out to me)
17. While at the grocery store buying soda for my husband, “you should really cut out soda while your pregnant”. My response, “Oh I know, I haven’t drank soda in about 7 months” (dumbfounded look on their face)
18. From an old Co-Worker from almost three years ago while running into them at a store “Wow, your like always pregnant huh?”
19. “Wow, haven’t you been pregnant for like a year already?” (yep, I’m one of those unique people who have longer gestation periods than most, I’m being studied at MIT)
20. Don’t make a comparison to having your wisdom teeth taken out, to having your stomach ripped open via C-section. JUST STOP!
Your turn! What horrible things did people say to you while YOU were pregnant?
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