How to Make Divorce Easier For Kids

While going through a divorce is undoubtedly hard on the two parties involved, it is also hard on any children that may be involved. Children sometimes cannot understand what is going on, and will have a hard time processing the divorce. There may not be anything that you can do to make the divorce easy on your children, but there are at least a few things you can do to make it a little easier.

Spend Time With Them

For starters, you should try to spend as much time with your children as you can. Do things that will allow them to take their minds off of the situation, and show them that they will still be able to have a good time with you going forward. Play board games, go to a movie, head over to a playground, or go grab some ice cream. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are spending some quality time with your children, and trying to keep their lives at least a little normal.

Talk With Them

If your children are old enough, talk with them about what is going on. Leaving your children in the dark about what is going on will not help, and will only leave them confused. Try to have an open and honest conversation with them about the situation, but be sure to refrain from blaming the other spouse. Even if you are your spouse are not on good terms, now is not the time to bring your children into this.

Do Not Fight Around Them

Another thing that you will want to watch out for is fighting around your children. Divorces can be messy, and often erupt into arguments. Whenever you feel like an argument is coming on, do it in a place that your children will not be able to overhear. If this is not possible, consider taking a walk to cool your head, rather than yelling at your spouse. Save the arguing for when your children are not home, and cannot overhear the conversation.

Be Cooperative With Your Spouse

In many divorces, your children will begin splitting time between each parent. It is important to respect the other parent’s time with your children, and not do anything to tarnish it. Be sure that the other parent gets their full allotted time, and do things that will make the transitions smoother. For example, if your kids will be staying overnight at their new place be sure to have them ready when pickup time arrives. You may not like your ex, but for the sake of your children, you should both try to cooperate when it comes to their well-being. This will result in less fighting and a more enjoyable experience for your kids.

Take Care Of Yourself

Lastly, remember to take care of your own needs as well. If you are stressed out or angry, it will negatively impact the time you have with your children. Take some time to yourself to relax, or get additional help if you need it. For example, if you are struggling with all of the paperwork that goes along with a divorce, consider using a place like National Family Solutions, which provides attorneys to help with legal documents related to family law. Anything you can do to take some of the stress off of your shoulders will improve your mood, and in turn improve your relationship with your kids.

Pay Attention To Their Needs

Divorces are stressful, and it can be all too easy to get wrapped up in your own thoughts and priorities. It is during this time that you need to remember to check in on your kids and see that their needs are being met. Spend some time with them, have fun, and try to keep the divorce between you and your spouse. If you can do this, the whole thing should be at least a little bit easier on your kids.

 

Image source via: www.fischer.senate.gov

About Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes". I've recently moved domains, I used to blog at mommyonlyhas2hands.org, but our new home is right here on heartfullyheather.com

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Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes". I've recently moved domains, I used to blog at mommyonlyhas2hands.org, but our new home is right here on heartfullyheather.com

8 thoughts on “How to Make Divorce Easier For Kids

  1. Great tips. I’ve been through two divorces, although none of them were my own. First it was my parent’s long drawn out divorce and then twenty years later, it was my sister’s. Both were very hard on our family and I was actively involved in both. It helps to know other people understand what you are going through and read these articles for advice. Thanks for sharing.

  2. This is great advice IF both parties are willing to put aside their issue for their child. One parent can’t do it alone. Too often, the one parent who is willing to do this becomes the welcome mat. It takes two to Tango. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Unfortunately, children are in the middle & casualties of the Divorce War!! Far too many times, I have seen not just the parents split, but the children split up too. One sibling wants to go with one parent & the other child with the other parent. It’s very good to meet their needs, but don’t give in to your principles because you want your child to like & stay with you!! This is not a popularity contest!! I was a product of divorce & I was pulled this way & that. I really needed someone to talk to who was not involved. Like a counselor. I could go on, because it was messy & hurtful! I really do hope parents follow your tips & leave their kids out of it!! After all, at one time your parents both wanted you & planned for you – you are NOT at fault!!

  4. Children were brought into this world by both parents – Out of love for that child your needs, anger, resentment is secondary. You may dispise your ex-spouse, but that is your issue not the child’s, so keep your feelings to yourself and let your child continue to love his parents without fear of being judged.

    Your top priority, as a parent, is your child’s well being.

  5. It takes two to make a marriage and it takes 2 to make a divorce better. Dont say and do things against each other in front of the kids. Its best to try to work things out without making more problems . In all it effects the kids more by doing this the wrong way. For your kids sake and future and well being try your best to be decent to each other. Its about them now not you – your divorced .

  6. My parents got divorced when I was about 7 years old and the parts of it I can remember were pretty awful…

  7. I remember my parents tried to hide everything from us when we were younger and it was extremely confusing. Parents need to keep kids updated on things I now have problems showing affection because of being raised in a home where affection wasnt shown.

What do you think?