I had this post written up over the weekend about how depressed I was feeling. It started out like this:
So here I am, its Saturday night and I feel like a puddle of tears. Ever since I stopped watching kids full time I’ve been trying to rack my brain to figure out how I could bring in an income but still stay home with my kids once the baby is born. I feel very limited in what I can do. Truth is, most people would be like, you lucky gal, you watch kids all day and get to be home with yours, what the heck are you complaining about. Honestly, I don’t want to go back to watching kids after the baby is born. I don’t want to be trapped inside my home from 6am to 6pm with kids running and screaming around my house and me catering to their every demand. I know that sounds horrible of me as a child care provider, but after doing it for 2 plus years, I’m burnt out. I’m tired of wiping bottoms, mouths and noses, I’m tired of parents bringing their sick kids to me swearing its “just allergies” and me (pregnant) being exposed to every germ under the sun. Even when not pregnant it sucks being the one that kids cough, sneeze on and wipes their buggers on all for a measly 25 bucks a day. Yet at the end of the month that little bit adds up and makes it to where we aren’t worried about our finances.
Sunday, I woke up with the mother of all colds. So much sinus congestion that I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out. My son was cranky from an ear infection, I had just had a pregnancy scare where I had to go to the hospital for terbutaline to stop contractions since I’m only 31 weeks along and things just seemed like they couldn’t get any worse. But then this morning I finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel. While I can’t really disclose what I’m doing because I haven’t officially started and I don’t want to break any confidentiality rules, it appears that I have landed a work at home job as a search engine analyst. Working just 3 hours a day will make up for watching 2 kids five days a week. It appears….yes I’m cautiously saying “appears” that I will be able to spend more time with my kids and less time feeling frustrated by the days demands of dealing with cranky children that are not my own. Don’t get me wrong I loved being a child care provider for the longest time. My son made some cute little buddies that I actually miss. I do miss seeing two of their little faces and I really want to get my son together with them soon for a play date…but being almost 8 months pregnant and having kids kick you in the stomach when they aren’t getting their way just really tries at my patience and I’m done with it, at least for now and hopefully this new job is something I will be able to do for the long haul if it ends up being as great as it is perceived. Time will tell.
But that is my quick little update for today and hopefully this will allow more time for my blog too as I won’t be trying to cram a ton of bloggy things in within a two hour period each day. 🙂
I do believe God listens to our prayers and answers them in accordance to what we need and what the people around us need. I wrote a facebook update last night about how I thought God had given me more than I can handle, and then this morning I woke up to a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you Lord for listening to my prayers! Even if this is something I can do for a few months, its something that will help baby stay inside longer, and will help us out a little better financially, but truthfully I’m hoping I can do this for the long haul meaning at least a couple years until J Myster makes it to preschool and I can get a real job with benefits! Don’t forget to pray! He is listening!
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