Terrible Twos!

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Yep, I am smack dab in the middle of them. While most of the time my son is very affectionate, humorous and just a typical boy, we have hit the full-blown end of the world tantrums. For example, I tell him he can’t have any more grapes because he’s had like 30 of them and how about some toast. He starts repeating “NO NO NO!” and running away from me. Then he’s back demanding again. I suggest other things to eat, or suggest not hitting “C” with the play golf stick, that if he does it again he’ll be locked in his room.
Well, I reached that breaking point yesterday when his behavior got to an all time unacceptable. He was fighting with “C” over her blanket she calls “taggy” that she brings every day to my house. It’s hers along with her little froggy doll she brings and it’s only hers. I do not let J play with it as I don’t let “C” play with J’s blanket and dolly. They both know it’s theirs and J should know by now that he is not allowed to have “C’s” blankie. But I think he takes it from her just to see her reaction and despite lots of corner time and telling J he has to tell “C” he is sorry and to give it back to her, he sometimes refuses and throws himself on the floor in a fit of rage or screams at the top of his lungs back at me. So this time I grabbed him, I yelled in his face “NO!, that is “C’s”, give it back to her!”

He yells “NO!!!”
I say, “Say I’m sorry!”
Once again he yells “NO!!” and starts running from me.

So I grabbed him, I took him straight up to his room where he stayed there for a full 25 minutes. I know they say that time out should be for how ever old a child is, that simply doesn’t work with my son. This 25 minutes in his room was agony for him. He screamed he yelled, I could hear him throwing things and only when he decided to quiet down did I open the door and let him out. He came down stairs, grabbed “C’s” blankie and gave it to her and said “I sorry”. I couldn’t believe it!! He knew why he had been punished and I will now resort to the room time out when he is being out of control. I tell ya sometimes this parenting thing is so tough and I know that what one parent might say is ok punishment for a two-year old might be different with another parent. For me it was the end of a straw and, it happened to work. His behavior was improved the rest of the day and all I had to do is say “Do you want to go to your room” and he’d do an about-face.

I ultimately think each parent will know how to properly punish their child. It can be hard to figure out what to do, especially with toddlers. With older kids there are so many options, extra chores raking leaves etc. With toddlers, you have to punish in a way they will understand that what they have done is wrong and it’s really hard to reason with a toddler. I’ve put him in the corner, doesn’t phase him, I’ve swatted his hiney, doesn’t phase him, so complete isolation seems like the key. I think it’s also hard for him because he never sees “C” punished. “C” always listens the first time when I ask her not to do something. If I say “C”, don’t touch the DVD’s. She steps away. With J it almost always results in a time out, so part of me thinks that since he never sees her punished, he thinks she is getting special treatment. It’s really not the case. If I only had to tell J once not to do anything, it would be the same way.
I also know that “C” behaves because I am not her mother and kids always behave much better with people who are not their parents. At least that is what I’ve learned and heard.

What are some of your toddler parenting woes? Does it get easier right?

About Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".

Heartfully Heather

 

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Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".

14 thoughts on “Terrible Twos!

  1. My daughter turns 2 in a couple weeks and I think were starting to enter the terrible stage already. We were at a birthday party the other day and she threw her first temper tantrum. She grabbed a toy out of another little boys hands and I told her “she had to share and he was playing with it first.” Well she threw her entire body onto the floor and started kicking her legs and screaming. I hope this is not the start of some horrible behaviors…I need to figure out how to deal with this before it gets out of control.

  2. I think its natural for all kids to do this and test the boundaries, but I also think its important to let them know that kind of behavior is unnacceptable whether its at home or in public and that they will be punished. I’ve been around some parents who make excuses for their child’s behavior, “oh you know its the terrible twos” and they do nothing to correct the child’s behavior. It should be nipped in the butt early, but also understood to be a natural means of boundary exploration.

  3. My daughter is almost 2 1/2. We started with the tantrums, saying No and now we have the I don’t want to get dressed. I don’t know if it gets better but it feels like everything is such a battle. I hope it does get better. I know that for my daughter having time outs in her room does help, a little.

  4. How do you make your toddler stay in their room? I’ve tried so hard to get my son to sit on his bed & chill out, but I can’t exactly lock the door to make him stay lol. Do you use a gate? My son has these violent tantrums with me where he hits or bites me to get his way, and I just need them to stop!

  5. Oh, Heather, I feel your pain. My daughter just turned 3 this month, and she is at her very worst! Even with threats of no birthday presents! I totally get “to each his own” within reason. The room thing works for K sometimes, but usually I end up taking her back several times. I even tried locking it (only locks from inside and I can easily pop it), but she knows how to unlock it, too! And when she’s good, she’s so sweet its hard to believe there is a toddler monster inside! Anyway, I can totally relate. It’s good to know I’m not alone! Hang in there! My son just turned one, so I’ll have another round just about the time K is done! Good luck!

  6. Sorry to hear that. Andres is pushing buttons over here too!! It’s frustrating and exhausting. I would have done the same thing. Hang in there.

  7. Oh we have a terrible two here also. MAN!! Some days he makes me question my sanity or my ability as a mother!! Who knew they were such powerful creatures!

  8. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going through the same thing! I just cried to my husband yesterday that I was going to run away if I don’t get a break,(not really). My son is in the hitting phase. The other day he pulled my hair and kicked me in the chin and the same time. I thought I was in the rink with tyson himself. I don’t know where this is coming from but I am his target when he’s frustrated. He also wants to touch everything but his toys. He also bangs his head on any hard surface when he doesn’t get what he wants because he knows it drives me nuts. He’s hyper on top of that. Sometimes in the middle of his tantrums I sit and cry along with him. I feel like I am having a nervous breakdown sometimes. I gave up my career and income to be with him. I don’t regret it but this is harder than a job. I am hoping this is a phase because mommy needs a time out or else. At bedtime he’s an angel wanting hugs and kisses from mommy. He lays there and says mommy I wuv u and I melt. Then the morning comes and chaos starts all over again, ugh! There should be more than one mother’s day. Let’s start with every month. This is the hardest job on the planet and the most rewarding.

  9. Yeah, When J starts hitting I do not tolerate it at all. Its immediate isolation. Its so hard because I’m with him all the time so he wants to take his frustrations out on me too. And yep when he wants something or wants to cuddle he can be the sweetest thing alive. He says “I love tu momma” and it just makes me melt every time he says it. Then when he’s not getting his way, he’s screaming at the top of his lungs. Crazy boundary pushing age!! But we moms will get thru it. I’ve thought about running away too! 😉

  10. Oh I am right there with you. My son is almost 2, and started the terrible two phase a while ago. Boy does he have a set of lungs on him! And my daughter is 3 1/2, and 3 is not much better than 2… Some days there is a lot of screaming around here! Time outs didn’t start really working with her until recently, and even now there are times she is just too out of control and I put her in her room to calm down. Haven’t figured out what works for my little guy yet…

What do you think?