I’m either in a rut, or depressed. I don’t want to do anything. Sure I guess you could call it laziness, but it’s accompanied by an “ah it’s not worth it” mood. I don’t know where it has come from. I think it has to do with the transition my husband is in (once again at work) and it started pretty much after we moved. I’ve tried daily to get past it, to tell myself it’s just a hard time right now. This move was supposed to be exciting. It was our dreams coming true. But my husband hasn’t been able to enjoy it. He’s stuck between working for two companies. He’s the middle man, and isn’t able to please both parties and its making him come home from work in a foul mood, which then turns my mood sour and I just really feel like we are being robbed of the happiness we should have. My husband hasn’t been able to enjoy this place. He’s mentally occupied. He’s somewhere else. He has been ever since we moved. He’s not him. He’s never really expressed profound joy of living here. He just went from going, “oh yay, the house is ours now, to oh look at all the stuff we have to do to fix it up”. No sitting back and just being happy to have something that is ours. Not yet, at least. And now that we have been here for four months, I have a feeling, I just won’t see that from him. I feel like something was taken away from us. The joy of it all. I was happy despite all the work…but the hubs wasn’t. So now I feel like that unhappiness has transferred to me in some way. When you feel like your spouse comes home and is only a shell….he just puts on this smile and feigns happiness, you can tell. Then it just feels like, all the time, the money, the love you put into things…doesn’t matter anymore.
I make to do lists, can’t seem to get thru it all. Come mid day, I’ve given up. It doesn’t seem worth it. I’m not excited to get up in the morning and start my day. It also doesn’t help that Baby B is backwards baby and slept thru the night as a newborn, but now wakes up 2 to 4 times a night wanting to nurse. I want to stay in bed.
How do you get out of those ruts? I had a good system, a great system of getting things done. But now just no motivation behind it all. I think you feel like if the people around you are happy, then what you do is worthwhile. Maybe I’m just tired of daily life as a stay at home mom. Maybe I need someone to talk to? I don’t know. Yesterday, I was looking forward to fall…and I still am….but I’m just kinda feeling blah. I can’t tell if it’s a rut, or depression.
This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me, Heather Jones. For questions about this blog, please contact me via the “Contact Me” link on the top menu bar or click here. This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.
Disclosure Policy For Reviews / Guest/Sponsored Posts:
The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post may not always be identified as paid or sponsored content.
The owner of this blog is compensated to provide opinions on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner of this blog receives compensation for posts or advertisements, I (we) always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers’ own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.
To see more of my disclosure policy please click here.
Any Votes Are Always Appreciated! (And if you let me know you voted in the comments, they'll be returned!)