The anniversary of when we packed up our lives and moved to a different state happened just a few weeks ago. You know how when Facebook reminds you of events that have occurred in the past? Well, that day appeared in my timeline and up until that day and especially on that day, I was not looking forward. I was still living in the past. I was still dwelling on what couldn’t be changed and not truly embracing it. Even though I didn’t think I was, I was still living in the past…
You can not embrace your future when you keep reliving past events in your life.
Yeah, it was sad…for some of us, but hella exciting for my husband who hasn’t regretted one day of our move. He’s had so much fun adventuring, and you know what? I have too! We truly have done things we probably never would have done if we hadn’t of moved. In a few weeks, we’ll be hitting the road to visit two more states I’ve never been to. Once again, we wouldn’t have even considered doing this had we stayed in Arizona. We wouldn’t have had these experiences or these memories.
So I finally pushed past the feelings of loss. It almost felt like a death. In a big way, it was. It was the death of living in that place I had so grown to love over the last 12 years. But it was a rebirth of another life just waiting for me down hundreds of miles of windy highways, through mountain ranges, through humble living arrangements and it finally fully birthed itself on the other side of the Rocky Mountains.
So while I brooded and dwelled. I woke up a few mornings later after that one year anniversary finally feeling like it was a turning point in my perspective.
It just suddenly shifted.
I had lived feeling like nothing was permanent for so long, I couldn’t give myself permission to accept what was. I felt like at any moment If I gave myself permission to love it, it would be taken away.
Whether its taken away a year or two down the road, in six months, in ten years, or ever, I’ve been through it before. I know what it feels like and I know how to survive it. I now know not to fall so in love with that life I pictured and planned out in my head that it leaves no room for adventure and growth. I now realize that was my biggest mistake. For people who are planners, when things change like this, it feels so upsetting. But, life has a way of changing on you whether you like it or not. So you have to learn to roll with the punches and enjoy the process. There’s so much growth in the process.
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