If you are a parent what worries you the most about your children? For me, for several months I’ve woken in the middle of the night. I just lie there listening to the baby monitor that picks up in both children’s rooms. Of course I did my research looking at the Best For Mums monitor guide and taking all the info in. I lay there and listen so intently that I know I am making up sounds in my head. I lay there listening and waiting for something horrible to happen. With all the crazy stories on the news lately of children being snatched from their own beds at night, I just can’t seem to sleep. I lie there with visions of horrible things happening to my children until I simply can’t stay awake any longer. I’ll hear Baby B start stirring, and I gladly jump up, grab him and nurse him in bed. I peek in on J Myster who is sleeping soundly, then take the baby back to bed to snuggle for the rest of the night so I can enjoy that closeness I feel when he’s all wrapped up in the blanket next to me.
Sometimes my mind wonders back to my other child. Lately, he’s been afraid of his room and if I could, I’d sit in his room every night til he fell asleep and didn’t have to feel afraid. These thoughts have surfaced recently when J Myster started becoming afraid of dogs. He’d see a dog at different places we’d go. He’s encountered 2 big dogs, one a Rottweiler and the other a Great Dane. They terrified him so much he was certain those dogs would find him and get him in his room. His room! It’s the place he’s supposed to feel safe. It hurts my heart that he doesn’t feel safe in his own room, so much so, he won’t play up there alone.
A few weekends ago Hunky Hubs had the garage door open and he was cleaning out there. I was doing something in the hallway and J kept saying he was afraid and that there was a dog outside his window. I kept telling him the dogs he saw a few weeks ago were long gone and could not get him and that there were no dogs outside his window. I soon just ignored his insistence that there indeed was a dog outside. I later went outside to throw something in the recycle bin and was met with a dog sitting right in my driveway. Stunned, I just turned around and went back inside, thinking the whole time J was telling me something and I was ignoring it. I felt so bad.
Then a few nights ago I went into Baby B’s room to get him some pajamas for bed. J Myster was already in bed, suddenly I hear “THUD! THUD! THUD!”, coming from J’s room. I go in there. J is still sound asleep. I stand there for a second but don’t hear anything. I feel the need to look out the window. I peek out the blinds and from behind me I hear “BANG BANG BANG!! It’s coming from the closet! My heart is racing and as I approach the closet door, I realize OMG, it’s the cat! The cat was stuck in the closet and he was trying to get out. I couldn’t believe J myster slept thru the banging. If he had been awake I am certain he would have flipped a lid and it would have meant more sleepless nights kicking mommy and daddy in bed.
But back to my original point, am I the only one that lies awake at night listening to their children breathe on the baby monitor or even gets up to check and make sure doors are locked or windows are closed even though you know you checked all these things before climbing into bed? I just know I’m a little too paranoid, but I never thought I’d be this paranoid.
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