Stepping Up, and Giving People Time to Heal



You’ve seen in a recent post where I’ve talked about the seasons of learning, healing and recovering. That is what season we are in right now. For both my husband and I, this is the hardest part. While my husband is doing the healing and recovering part, I’m doing the learning part and taking on a lot more around the house than I ever have before. For example, trash and recycling have always been Scott’s job. Well now that it’s my job for a while, I’ve forgotten twice! By the time I remember the trucks have already been by. Also, shoveling snow has primarily been my husband’s job. But for the rest of the snowy season, it will be my job. Likewise, my enthusiasm for more snow is lacking.

I think we naturally like being busy and fruitful. I say fruitful because you can be busy, but not productive or fruitful and there is a big big difference. Right now we aren’t doing many productive things, and it feels so wrong. But I have to keep reminding myself that this time is necessary. It’s necessary for my husband to have this time of healing so he doesn’t have any traumatic setbacks down the road. It’s necessary to learn the things you need to learn so that you’ll be successful when you finally implement them.

There’s also that never-ending to-do list outside of what you actually try to spend the majority of your time on. There’s the family to take care of and the house to maintain, and often the upkeep with both family and house takes the majority of your time. So when four days have passed before you’ve checked your email and you have 300 messages waiting for you, it can be overwhelming. I often think working from home is harder than working outside the home. I feel like I have three full-time jobs that I have to fit within 18 hours a day logistically. You really can’t say 24 because you have to sleep at some point.

I will get better at this balance thing, though. In all the stages of motherhood I’ve been in, I’ve been the busy multi-tasking mom that has to keep up with working from home and being here in the present for my family. I’ve done it for almost 8 years now, yet I’m still not a pro at it.      

Since the next five weeks will still be a season for healing and learning….and patience. I have to ask, what season are you in? Do you know?

About Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".

Heartfully Heather


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Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".

17 thoughts on “Stepping Up, and Giving People Time to Heal

  1. Don’t try to get it all done at the risk of your own health and sanity. For example, as long as the clothes are clean, don’t sweat getting it all put away. Being a mother with small children is exhausting. This won’t last forever. As a military spouse, I had to learn to let go of the small stuff, which went against my slightly clean freak, OCD nature. Don’t sell yourself short. I think you’re more of a pro than you think.

  2. Thanks Lynne! You are absolutely right. It’s so funny my OCD nature only came out when I had kids. Isn’t that weird? I’ve never cared much of keeping a home clean until it was a disaster all the time! LOL It’s funny what becomes your nemesis when you let it

  3. I’m in the middle of getting ready to move, so I’ve been boxing up things left and right. My husband hasn’t been doing any of it, but I know that he will be physically moving the boxes on the day of the move it (because I’ll be at work). So it evens out for us.

  4. This is something that scares me. I will be having a c-section in a couple of months, and due to some high risk complications, it might involve additional surgery. I know I will need significant healing time. With my last pregnancy, my husband really didn’t understand that, nor was he able to take time off work. However, this time he gets a lot of paid paternity time, so I’m hoping he will understand I need time to heal.

  5. I have no idea what season my family is in right now. It will be a year next month that we lost my 19 yr old niece unexpectedly. It is so important as a mom and wife taking care of the house along with the family for you not to forget about yourself. We all need that time to ourselves so we don’t get overwhelmed. Thanks for sharing a great post.

  6. I think I have an idea about what you mean. I feel awkward sometimes reaching out to people in their time of healing because I think they might want time to be alone and to think about things. Makes so much sense.

  7. It is so easy to get frustrated with someone while they are healing but the stuggles they face are much harder. I can definitely releate to your situation and wish him a speedy recovery.

  8. Our family is in a transitioning season. I currently work at home but all of my kiddos are finally in school full time. It’s definitely a change for all of us but we are all adapting well.

What are your thoughts?