I think one of the hardest parts of being human is that moment when you realize that life has gone on uninterrupted for so many people you think about daily after you’ve moved away. That there’s so much you’ve missed or don’t even know about and you wish you did. You wish someone would have said, “gosh I really have to tell Heather what happened, I’ll give her a call later!” The sad part about the world we live in is hardly anyone I know uses the phone anymore unless its a text and even now…I guess I just haven’t been worthy of a text. Not even worthy of a “Hi, how are you doing since you moved away?”
There have been so many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call people. There are a few people I CAN call and I know the call is welcome. But there are people that it became awkward to call especially in the weeks that followed our move. The call felt like I was inconveniencing them. There were people I thought I’d stay in touch with and haven’t. People I thought I had a better connection with and obviously didn’t. I think the hardest part is realizing the friendship never really mattered to them.
It has always been hard for me to make friends. Its my social awkwardness I guess. I see that same struggle in my son. So realizing that it just didn’t matter to them has truly been the loneliest part about moving. I have to suck it up though, put on a smile and move on with my life because no one else is crying here but me….which makes it even more lame.
So I’m going to stop being that lame person hoping and waiting for a phone call.
Goodbye road… why do I keep looking back to that same road that brought me here?
Goodbye rear view mirror… no one misses me.
Goodbye horizon, there’s no tears where the sun is setting.
Its been one year later and I’m still saying goodbye. How lame is that!?
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