I have loved blogging for the last ten years. It was an outlet and I felt that this blog allowed me to write my own story. To change a painful childhood into a story of survival and a happy ever after. Unfortunately, life is hardly ever a happy ever after. God tells us in life you will have trouble (John 16:33). I just didn’t expect my whole life to be a struggle of identity. I don’t think I can blog here any longer. I think it would just be a lie. A facade. A facade I didn’t realize I was buying into. I just thought, when we get over this or got over that, things would be better. When this thing happens life will straighten out, the stress will go away, the happiness will come back.
I want to share about our Christmas…about my mother in law passing away on us the day after Christmas…about how tragic things have seemed but why? Why has it always felt better to write it out and hit submit and send it out into the void of internet land? Only because it has been my therapy of choice all these years. I’m not forcing people to listen to me, they can listen only if they choose. I wanted to write my happy story. My happy ending.
This blog was supposed to be my happy ending.
I write for therapy. I’m not even a great writer. I wanted to be, but self-confidence has shattered any skill I once had.
Whoever reads it, reads it, whoever doesn’t doesn’t…but at least my thoughts are out there. I think someone might be able to relate. I don’t want my life to be a Greek tragedy, but I feel like it is turning into that.
HeartfullyHeather.com goodbye for now.
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