When Life Sucks: How Not to Be A Debbie Downer


Do you ever feel like the Debbie Downer of the group? I try really hard not to be that way. Sometimes there are people who you talk to and the only thing they can do is talk about their problems. Now mind you, many people’s problems can be really significant and they need an outlet, a friend to talk to. It’s good to be that friend that can listen and lend an ear or a hug during rough times.  Sometimes people just go through rough months and even rough years and they need all the support from friendships that they can get.  I usually have one good friend I share things with, and keep the rest to myself even in casual conversation with others.

In light of my husband’s recent back surgery and healing setbacks, and the prior four years of debilitating back pain and how it affected his psyche, I felt like there was nothing good I could talk about. I’m an optimist by nature and usually try to find something to be grateful for. So to see my husband’s constant struggles really started to affect my own outlook on life. It seemed like he was taking every bullet and I was at a loss of how to help him. There’s only so many times you can say, “I’m so sorry you are going through this”, without sounding like a broken record.  

And on that note, people eventually get tired of hearing about it as well. I think more people want to see the positive in your life, than hear about the negative anyway…but that leaves you sometimes feeling like you can’t talk to anyone. If you have a few good friends, hold on to them. Find a way to counteract all the negative in your life, with positive things to talk about.

How to Stay Positive:

Start A Positivity Journal – Grab a notebook and write down five different things each day that you are grateful for. 

Do one thing for yourself each day – Whether it’s a bubble bath, enjoying a nice dessert, going for a walk, or watching your favorite TV show to unwind from a hard day, don’t neglect what makes you happy. 

Call that one supportive friend  – While you might feel like totally unloading on your friend, you have no idea what your friend might be going through on the other side of that phone. Always start your conversation about them, then let them ask about what is going on with you. This makes you a much better friend. It will also help bring fresh perspective to your current situation. Maybe things aren’t so bad.

Go take a walk to clear your head. Being outside often helps people find perspective.  

It’s so easy to focus on the negative, so actively searching for the good in your life will really help you to let go of some of those negative things or figure out a solution to a bad situation.  

How do you stay positive?

About Heather Jones

I'm just a wife and mom of two boys trying to find her place in this world. I enjoy walks around the lake, bible journaling, and RV camping with my family.

Heartfully Heather


This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me, Heather Jones. For questions about this blog, please contact me via the “Contact Me” link on the top menu bar or click here. This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.

Disclosure Policy For Reviews / Guest/Sponsored Posts: 

The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post may not always be identified as paid or sponsored content.

The owner of this blog is compensated to provide opinions on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner of this blog receives compensation for posts or advertisements, I (we) always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers’ own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.

To see more of my disclosure policy please click here.

Heather Jones

I'm just a wife and mom of two boys trying to find her place in this world. I enjoy walks around the lake, bible journaling, and RV camping with my family.

20 thoughts on “When Life Sucks: How Not to Be A Debbie Downer

  1. I typically struggle in silence and that isn’t good either. Sometimes I just zone out into a show or movie I enjoy. For that little bit of time I act like no one else exist.

  2. Sometimes it can be so hard, and I’m such a positive person! My son was sick last week and my daughter is stick this week. It is on day #1,000 (slight exaggeration) of cold rain. I just decided yesterday to find that silver lining and it got so much better!

  3. I too love this post! It is so easy for people to become a Debbie Downer, but if you set the tone right to be positive the moment you hit the floor, you can overcome this Debbie Downer feeling. I try hard daily not to be a Debbie Downer myself!

  4. I can so relate. For me, a long soak in the spa tub ( I feel so blessed to have one ), can help to put me in a much better frame of mind. I makes me feel better physically and physiologically. I have a couple of close friends that are my safety net. We can share each others issues, which is great. Sometimes it’s almost overwhelming to read so many whoa is me FB updates. I really really try not to do that. Hope your husband gets some relief SOON!

  5. It can be hard to stay positive, especially when the world around you looks bleak. I try and find at least one thing to be happy and grateful for each day.

  6. This is a wonderful post. I think it’s so important to try to stay happy even when you’re feeling down. Great tips too!

  7. I am so sorry that your husband had some set backs. Please feel free to contact me on Facebook. I had major back surgery a little over a year ago. I had a fusion at L5-S1. Plus, I also have Fibro and Rheumatoid arthritis. I remember feeling great for a few weeks after my surgery. Then all of a sudden, the pain was back with a vengeance. Therapy helped some but I am still dealing with chronic pain. I knew that when I went into surgery that it wasn’t a guaranteed fix.

  8. What a great post! I’ve had a few Debbies in my life over the years and it can be a real energy suck. I have a gratitude journal that I write in before I go to bed every night. It’s hard to feel down when I have pages and pages of positive things in my life

  9. I think there is a huge difference between someone having rough patches and someone being a Debbie Downer. It is definitely important to reach out to the ‘right person’ a friend and not an acquaintance.

    Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly

What are your thoughts?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.