Your Daughter and Dating: A Survival Mini-Guide for Worried Parents

 

It’s every father’s nightmare: something bad happens to your daughter while she’s out on a date. But, dating doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience for you, or your child. Here’s how to survive it without being a helicopter parent.

Set Limits, Rational Ones

If your daughter starts her dating adventures before getting her driver’s license, you should offer to pick her (and her date) up or drive her around. Driving them will give you the chance to help set limits. You can help her set boundaries concerning time spent with her SO on the weekend and during the week. It also lets you be in the car with them, listening and engaging them both.

But, be careful not to eavesdrop or be an “unwelcomed pest.” Why? Because you will create resistance. It’s a balancing act for you, just as much as it is for them.

Help Her Find The Balance

If you see the relationship is going too far, too fast, you can talk to your daughter and help her understand that, while not unusual, it’s not normal to “rush” things. If that doesn’t solve the issue, talk to both of them together. Do it in a non-threatening way that respects their own individuality and freedom as young adults. You will not only gain their respect, but they will also see that you’re trying to help them instead of just trying to tell them what they can’t do.

Engaged parents have a much easier time talking to their daughters when they’re alone. Moms especially tend to have a better time talking to their daughters than fathers. Daughters often see their dad as their protector, whereas moms are seen as more nurturing.

Educate Your Daughter About S-E-X

Look, your daughter is going to do whatever she feels like in regards to sex. You cannot prevent it from happening. If she wants it, she’ll find a way to sneak around with her boyfriend or girlfriend. What you can do is talk to her about it.

Talk to her about birth control, menstrual cycles, her breasts and how they will change over time. You can talk about the pleasure, and responsibility, of sex.

It doesn’t have to be a formal education in sex, but it should cover the basics so that she at least knows what to do to control things like pregnancy, what to expect during her first time, and so on.

Talk To Her About Safe Driving

Usually, when teens go out on a date, they drive. Emphasize safety if she’s got her driver’s license. There are so many car accident claims in St Louis that car crashes are one of the leading causes of deaths for teenagers.

Making sure your daughter understands how to drive safely is very important.

Do Not Lecture Her

Do you remember when you were a teenager? You didn’t like being lectured to. Your daughter doesn’t like it either. Maybe you think you know better. You probably do. But you won’t get through to her by lecturing her. Won’t happen.

Instead, you should teach her by showing her natural consequences for actions. She is learning the type of boy or girl she’s attracted to, as well as how her behaviors affect who she attracts. If you lecture her, you will only push her away from you, not draw her closer.

 


Charles Phillips is raising two daughters on his own. Now at the age where boys have become of interest, he worries about his princesses kissing princes, never mind frogs! Charles writes about family life and parenting issues online.

Featured image via gospelrelevance.com

About Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".

Heartfully Heather

 

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Heather Jones

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".

10 thoughts on “Your Daughter and Dating: A Survival Mini-Guide for Worried Parents

  1. There is a very fine line here from telling them what to do & warning them! You want to keep the trust line open so that they will talk to you about anything. One thing we did as parents, was tell our child to call us no matter what & at any hour if they need us!! And never get into a car when their driver is impaired! Call us then also!! I’d rather have them come home in one piece by picking them up! We also gave them emergency money just in case.

  2. I hears Dr. Phil give advice once. He said you have to make your voice the one that sticks in their head and drowns out all the other voices. I think if you gear your conversations toward this, that is the best thing you can do. Thanks for sharing these great tips!

  3. These are very good tips. Talking about sex in a positive way, instead of a negative way is very good. Being a good role model is so important to a daughter and having a strong loving relationship from both parents really helps with teaching sons and daughters about dating.

  4. It’s been about 3 years since my daughter started dating and all i remember of it is that it sucks.

  5. Thank you for the tips. We have raised our daughters and they were level headed and turned out great.

  6. I didnt have to deal with that with all boys an all grandsons but with a great grand daughter finally , I’m going to need these tip soon. The boys need to know how to respect the girls and not treat them like their property.

  7. It was awkward when my mother started talking to me about dating. I just dyed my hair red. I didn’t need it since I was shy and didn’t date through high school. Your tips are helpful for when I have children, I hope I have daughters.

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